p. 102 "This latter is one of the principal thoroughfares of the city, and had been very much crowded during the whole day. But, as the darkness came on, the throng momently increased; and, by the time the lamps were well lighted, two dense and continuous tides of population were rushing past the door. At this particular period of the evening I had never before been in a similar situation, and the tumultuous sea of human heads filled me, therefore, with a delicious novelty of emotion. I gave up, at length, all care of things within the hotel, and became absorbed in contemplation of the scene without."
In a major avenue of London, as night falls, foot traffic rushes in constant torrent. The steadiness of pace tears at his gut, drawing his attentions to the crowd.
My paraphrase omits explanation that the avenue had already been busy that day and also that this was the busiest he had seen it at that time of evening. It is also not possible to harness the dramatic voice of Poe in a paraphrase.
p. 103 "The division of the upper clerks of staunch firms, or of the 'steady old fellows', it was not possible to mistake. These were known by their coats and pantaloons of black or brown, made to sit comfortably, with white cravats and waistcoats, broad solid-looking shoes, and thick hose or gaiters. They had all slightly bald heads, from which the right ears, long used to pen-holding, had an odd habit of standing off on end. I observed that they always removed or settled their hats with both hands, and wore watches, with short gold chains of a substantial and ancient pattern. Theirs was the affectation of respectability; if indeed there be an affectation so honorable."
The characteristics of the clerk of higher class is easily discernible by the better quality of their ensemble, rich accessories, and lack of hair style that requires daily maintenance.
I did not accurately detail the minor characteristics that give away their profession. The bent ear and common mannerisms for removal of hat and checking watch. I also missed the satirical commentary of their "respectability."
p. 103 "… sturdy professional street beggars scowling upon mendicants of a better stamp, whom despair alone had driven forth into the night for charity; feeble and ghastly invalids, upon whom death had placed a sure hand, and who sidled and tottered through the mob, looking every one beseechingly in the face, as if in search of some chance consolation, some lost hope…"
He saw beggars scowling and invalids looking wantingly at those more fortunate for a handout of sorts.
My paraphrase doesn't portray the full extent of the despair he is describing in the people. Taking a second look at the passage, I may have wrote, "beggars scowling despairingly for charity and invalids glazing wantingly for hope."
p. 105 "I had now a good opportunity of examining his person. He was short in stature, very thin, and apparently very feeble. His clothes, generally, were filthy and ragged; but as he came, now and then, within the strong glare of a lamp, I perceived that his linen, although dirty, was of beautiful texture; and my vision deceived me, or, through a rent in a closely-buttoned and evidently second-hand roquelaure which enveloped him, I caught a glimpse both of a diamond and of a dagger."
He was old and feeble wearing raggedy, dingy clothes of once fine cloth and beneath his overcoat a diamond and dagger gave way their hiding place.
No matter how well I try to synthesize some sense of Poe's dramatic poetry I cannot recreate the eloquence in a paraphrase. It was in fact a tear in the fabric of the coat that exposed the dagger and diamond.
p. 108 "It was now nearly daybreak; but a number of wretched inebriates still pressed in and out of the flaunting entrance. With a half shriek of joy the old man forced a passage within, resumed at once his original bearing, and stalked backward and forward, without apparent object, among the throng. He had not been thus long occupied, however, before a rush to the doors gave token that the host was closing them for the night. It was something even more intense than despair that I then observed upon the countenance of the singular being whom I had watched so pertinaciously. Yet he did not hesitate in his career, but, with a mad energy, retraced his steps at once, to the heart of the mighty London."
Dawn approaches as a crowd of drunks flow in and out of the bar. The man whimpers with joy, submersed and at home in the drunken crowd. The exodus from the closing bar casts immense sadness over the man. He recovered quickly and began his way back through the city from whence he came.
Despite trying hard to paraphrase simply, I find that being quick and concise about it is resulting in emulating Poe's voice, or trying to however poorly it may be. I missed the detail about the rushing doors being the sign of the closing bar. In my version it seems more like the people leaving are signaling the close instead of the owner ushering people to close. My paraphrase also misses the detail about how intently he had watched the man all night.
I think that Brooks claim is accurate, that paraphrasing can be properly and accurately used as a way to bullet point key elements. However I think in literature the line between proper and improper paraphrasing becomes blurred. In terms of scientific literature I think paraphrasing is a key tool used to consolidate ideas and make larger works more accessible as evidence, however to paraphrase poetry and prose is to strip it of its essence. For example, I'm not sure if my adopting a pseudo-Victorian voice was the correct thing to do, however I did not do it intentionally. In paraphrasing the work I must have subconsciously tried to imbue the paraphrase with similar essence. Perhaps part of the process of paraphrasing is to maintain a similar use of form in order to convey elements that cannot be spelled. But then how do we maintain the distinction between paraphrasing and plagiarism? If we are utilizing a similar form, in smaller structure, with varying words aren't we essentially copying?
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